E very day, we’re bombarded with messages telling us that we need to be happy all the time — and that, in order to be happy, we need the perfect job, the perfect partner, the perfect life. And we’re made to think that anything less than perfect happiness is a failure.
But the reality is that happiness is not a destination. It’s not something that we can achieve by ticking off a list of accomplishments or acquiring more and more possessions. Happiness cannot be found outside ourselves.
Rather, happiness is a journey, and it’s one that we have to actively choose every day.
Let’s start at the beginning.
WHAT HAPPINESS IS — AND WHAT IT’S NOT
Researchers tend to focus on two major components of happiness:
- A subjective feeling of well-being. Essentially, what is your daily emotional life like? Notice it’s not “the subjective state of feeling good all the time” (more on that below). It’s about experiencing feelings that are more complex than simple pleasure — things like gratitude, joy, and meaning.¹
- Satisfaction with one’s life. When you take a step back and look at your life as a whole, are you content with how things have gone so far? Have you taken the risks that were worth taking to you? If so, even if they…
