Y ears ago, I thought of myself as someone who would probably never get married. I thought I was just “wired” for relationships that were fun but ultimately short-lived. I dated a lot, slept around, and always had an exit strategy.
Fast forward to today and as a happily married man, I’m honestly surprised by how easy it was for me to transition to a committed, life-long relationship. In fact, it feels damn good!
The truth is, while I did a lot of work on myself, a lot of it was just looking for a good partner.
E veryone kind of already knows that the news sucks. In all my life, I can’t think of anyone who seems to enjoy reading or watching the news every day. It’s a kind of bitter responsibility or endured necessity for people. News is like the societal version of flossing: it’s not fun, yet we continue to do it every day anyway, as a sort of obligation to prevent decay of the social order.
We all get it: yes, the news is overly negative, and yes, it often gets some things wrong. But in the end, we’re better off for it…
H ow are you supposed to be confident about something when you have nothing to feel confident about?
Like, how are you supposed to be confident at your new job if you’ve never done this type of work before? Or how are you supposed to be confident in social situations when no one has ever liked you before? Or how are you supposed to be confident in your relationship when you’ve never been in a successful relationship before?
On the surface, confidence appears to be an area where the rich get richer and the poor stay the fucking losers they…
M y favorite model for relationships comes from the work of anthropologist Helen Fisher. She’s dedicated decades of her life and her career to studying and understanding love, intimacy, and relationships. This post will cover her Three Loves Theory, a theory that I find incredibly helpful for understanding relationships.
The premise of the Three Loves Theory is that not all love is experienced equally. Anyone with a fair amount of romantic/sexual experience could tell you that love and passion come in different flavors. With some people it’s intense and furious, with others it’s mellow and sensitive. …
W hat do Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Confucianism, Hinduism, Shintoism, and just about any other “ism” that’s survived more than a few Kool-Aid chugging parties have in common?
No, it’s not that they feature old guys dressed up in togas.
No, it’s not that they all rip off each other’s myths and verses.
No, it’s not that they spent thousands of years slaughtering each other in the name of some ethereal deity.
It is this: They each promote delayed gratification as one of the highest human virtues.
Yes, at some point, each culture discovers, in their own way, that eating…
Well, fuck… we didn’t see that coming, did we?
I’ll start by saying that I have been extremely fortunate this year. I feel as though I dodged pretty much every bullet 2020 shot at me. I already worked from home. I have no kids. Being online, my business benefited from the pandemic and grew a bit this year. Book sales continue to…
PSA: Setting strong personal boundaries is not a cure-all for your relationship woes (or your lost keys). In fact, they’re more of a side effect of having a healthy self-esteem and generally low levels of neediness with people around you.
Boundaries in relationships work both ways: they create emotional health and are created by people with emotional health. They are something you can start working on today with the people close to you and you’ll begin to notice a difference in your self-esteem, confidence, emotional stability, and so on.
And yes, believe it or not, boundaries are also hot.
Eye contact is important, especially in dating and gauging people’s attraction to you. Everyone should have a basic understanding of what each person is eye-coding to them in any given situation, and it doesn’t take a cryptographer to figure it out. Or if it does, then fuck it, I’m that cryptographer.
I will decrypt the 11 levels of eye contact for the uninitiated eye. Gone are the days of blindly guessing whether cutie at the bar has the hots for you. You will know. And if you don’t, you’ll at least have a pretty good idea.
Unless you’ve been living…
There’s an old allegory about a baby elephant that is tied to a fence post. As the baby elephant tugs and pulls, it fails to break the fence or break the rope. Eventually, it gives up and makes peace with its fate. The baby elephant is stuck.
But eventually, the elephant grows up and becomes a big, adult elephant with gargantuan legs and a huge tusk and swirly trunk and it could easily walk away from the fence if it wanted to. …
So you want to find “the one” eh? You’re sick and tired of all the dating apps and websites and trying to meet people in your kickball league? And how many awkward first dates can you go on to find a “normal” person? And what’s with all the fake personalities and flaky people who seem more interested in themselves and can’t be bothered to make a slight change in their schedule to, you know, go out with you?
If this describes the majority of your romantic life, I want you to open up your mind a little and start looking…
Author of #1 NYTimes Bestseller ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck’. OG Blogger. Psychology Nerd. I enjoy cats and whiskey. But not at the same time.